You DON’T Want Kids? WHAT?!?!

I remember when I was in my late teens and early 20’s when someone asked me where did I think I would be by the time I was 25 or 30 I would always say married with 2.5 kids. ALWAYS. Notice the 2.5. I never really understood how ya could have .5 of a kid but whatever. I digress. 
Well here I am on the brink of 30 and I can honestly say that that vision has changed.
I am single. I am perfectly fine with this fact.
Now my vision is happily single with no kids and 2 dogs. Would I like to share my life with someone? Sure I would but do I want kids? Not so much.
Source: via Nikki on Pinterest
Truth be told I have been married and divorced not once but twice and to be honest I have no desire to get married again. Does that mean I will never get married again? No it does not. If I were to find the right person to settle down with I would BUT if I were to not get married again I would be totally 100% fine with that as well. 
As I am getting older I am realizing that I do not want kids. I mean if I were to get pregnant would I terminate the pregnancy? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I would welcome that little baby into my life with arms wide open. However with that said I am also making it so that I will not get pregnant. Enter birth control. I am not afraid to admit that I am on birth control and thank the good Lord that there is such a thing because it makes my life easier to handle.

I think the fact that I know what I want or rather what I don’t want is a good thing. I think that the fact that I know that I do not want to have children is good because if and when I ever get into a relationship again and the man asks if I want children I can confidently say no. I do not want to hold back someone who wants to have children and he needs to know that I am not willingly gonna reproduce. But again like I said if it were to happen it wouldn’t be the end of the world and I would welcome that little baby into my life.

Does not wanting children make me a bad person? Does me not wanting children make me less of a woman?

I do not think so not at all. I think actually that it means that I know what I want in life.

Now this may sound selfish but whatever.
I like love my life.

I like the fact that if I want to get up and go somewhere I do not have to worry about who’s gonna watch the kids or who is available to babysit. I like knowing that at the drop of a hat I can do whatever I want and go where ever I want because I am not responsible for another human. I like knowing if I wanna have a drink or two or three I do not have to worry about if the baby or kids are ok because there are none to worry about.

Ya know what else?
Again it may sound selfish to some but you will get over it.
Remember this is MY life MY way after all.

I have worked to hard to get myself into the most healthy person I can be. I have fought tooth and nail to loose weight and to be flat out honest I do not want to gain a ounce of that back. I do not want to have to gain 15-30 pounds to have to loose it again. Selfish? Maybe. Truthful? DEFINITELY!

Does me not wanting kids mean that I don’t like other peoples kids?

That could not be farther from the truth! In fact truth be told I love kids I really do. I love my brothers kids, I love my friends kids. I have no problem being around kids either. I will get down on the ground and play with them for hours on end. I will even babysit my friends kids or my brothers kids. But I love knowing that I can give them back. I can spoil them and return them to their parents.

These little buggers happen to be some of my favorite kids in the world!

So yeah I can honestly say that coming on 30 I am happily single and child free and if I were to stay that way for the rest of my life I would be totally fine with it.


  Hugs, Nikki

I have 14 Lovely Comments, I would love to have yours... on You DON’T Want Kids? WHAT?!?!

  1. avatar
    August 15, 2012

    This is why I love reading your blog! HONESTY! Putting it all out there! Its funny, I am one of those that have always wanted kids, and now with 2 I am very content. People ask why I dont go for the girl…. my response… my 2 boys keep me plenty busy and tired and I’m about 99% sure i’d end up with another boy (not that boys are bad-truth be told I prefer boys).

    You are certainly no less of a women! It is your life to live as you like… it is about being happy not keeping up with what people “expect” of you.


  2. avatar
    P!nky says:
    August 15, 2012

    Great post. I 100% support your opinion and choice. If I had read this 5 years ago I would have thought 1)She’s nuts and 2)She’ll change her mind. Silly Pinky.

    As I’ve grown up the idea of having kids is still a dream, but I am so much more nervous and ish about it. I want to have the family, but at t he same time KNOW that now is not the time. I’m too selfish, I like shoes and drinking.

    Good for you for knowing what you want and being able to tell a guy so. Best that everyone knows the big issues up front.

    LOVE YA! xoxo

  3. avatar
    Kasey says:
    August 15, 2012

    guess who just became my favorite blogger??? YOU!!!

    I too, have no desire to have children, and for the EXACT same reasons you listed. I have felt this way for years and have always been questioned and considered “selfish”. I truly do not care if people think that, its MY life.

    I’m actually in a very serious relationship with a man who has two children from a previous marriage and they are so great and his ex wife has been pretty great to work with also. It can be tricky dating someone with kids because of course when they are with you, your main priority is making sure they’re safe. But we don’t have them all of the time, so I’m able to still live freely while enjoying spending time with his kids when we have them.

    Love your blog and can’t wait to read more!

  4. avatar
    August 15, 2012

    I love your honesty! It takes a lot of balls to write this post and prepare for the internet bullies. I think what matters most is that you are happy with your decision because in the end, it is your life. We should all live our life the way we want to. Who cares what anyone else thinks. You go girl!

  5. avatar
    Cara says:
    August 15, 2012

    I love this post! I think too many people judge women and think that everyone has to fit into the married, 2 kids, white picket fence, golden retriever mold and that simply isn’t true. I admire your independence!

  6. avatar
    lil desiqua says:
    August 15, 2012

    I think it’s much more important to know what you want and don’t want- there are so many people who don’t know, and get into a situation and THEN realize it’s not what they want. You’re awesome….and brave!

  7. avatar
    August 15, 2012

    Great post!!!!! I go back and forth with this too!! It’s refreshing to read about someone else who feels the same way!

  8. avatar
    Nichole says:
    August 15, 2012

    Preach it. Obvs I am married and yes I do want kids. But there was a time when I knew I didn’t want either! I also know currently I’m not ready for babies and EVERYONE is asking about it. Everything happens for a reason, until then there’s no point in doing what others expect or society or whatever. Great post, chickie!

  9. avatar
    Jessica Who? says:
    August 15, 2012

    i’m so glad you wrote this! we are 90% sure that we don’t want kids and everyone seems to freak out about it.. great to know i’m not alone!

  10. avatar
    Katie says:
    August 16, 2012

    Looooove this post! I am totally opposite. Currently there is NO way i’d be able to have a kid, because I’m in school, no $, and I want my kid to have a nice life, not a struggling. I believe in the dreaded AB word and would terminate. HOWEVER, that said, I was ready to have kids 3 years ago. If $$ weren’t an issue I would have had them years ago with or without a significant other. I am so meant to be a mom. I’m 26 and like freaking out that it’s not happening soon haha. I wish I was calm about it 🙂

  11. avatar
    Gigi says:
    August 16, 2012

    Great post! I have never wanted kids either, I used to think I would have them because isn’t that what we are supposed to do. Once I realized I didn’t “have” to I knew I wouldn’t. People would always tell me I would change my mind when I met the “right” guy…and I would say to be the right guy foe me he would not want to have kids either. And guess what I am very happily married with three cats and life is as perfect as it can be.

  12. avatar
    Michelle says:
    August 16, 2012

    Good for you for realizing (and be okay with) the fact that you would be perfectly happy to never have kids! This society definitely makes women feel like it’s our “duty” or something to pop out 2.5 kids, although I think more and more women (and couples, for that matter), are opting not to have children. I COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from and before I got pregnant I was in that place of, “I’d be okay with or without kids, I think…” And my reasons were the same as yours! Of course, it happened, and I welcomed my baby girl with open arms and wouldn’t go back to life before her, BUT it’s definitely a different world with a child in the center of it all.

    I WILL say that although I TOTALLY feared the gaining weight thing, as I too worked really hard to stay fit & slim, it really isn’t something to be feared. If you already have a habit of living a healthy lifestyle (workig out & eating reasonably healthy), you won’t gain more than the 20-30 lbs and it honestly does come right off. I am actually a size smaller than I was before I got pregnant and I swear my metablism is faster. So, while I completely understand that being a reason for not wanting kids, It’s really not a valid reason. The women who end up with completely different bodies, is, I’m sorry to say, due to their own choices before, during, & after pregnancy. I hope that doesn’t come across as harsh… : )

    Anyway, great post! Keep living it up as a fun, sexy, successful, single & childless woman! : ) You definitely have a lot more freedom than us mommies! : )

  13. avatar
    jstertz says:
    August 21, 2012

    Great post. I was in the same boat always assuming that the baby bug would get me even though I never really wanted kids of my own. And then the sudden realization that I didn’t actually have to follow the path I was “expected” to take.
    Check out Baby Off Board if you want to see my favorite childfree blog.
    Keep up the good work!

  14. avatar
    Michael says:
    February 19, 2013

    You know what I love, not one person was a negative nancy! I’m on the fence. Kids are great and all but soo expensive. And time consuming. No more late night anything. I’m not 100% against them but I don’t think I’ll actively try for them either. My biggest issues, the pain. Plus, I will be MISERABLE.

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