Love You More 4.13.12

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That woman right there my friends is one of the most influential people ever to be a part of my life and today marks 1 year since she has left my life.  That right there friend is my Gram. I miss that woman so much I can not even put it into words.

It hurts how much I miss her. 

Friends I can not believe that it has been a YEAR since my Gram passed away.
It all started April 4, 2012 when I got the call that no one ever wants to get. The phone call that would mark a huge change in my life.
I re-read what I wrote and I started balling. Like legit ugly cry at my desk at work. I feel like this all went down just yesterday not a year ago. Then I came across my Goodbye Gram post and continued to ball and cry like a baby at my desk. 
People at work must think I’m nuts.
I sit here today a year later and I miss that woman more than anything. Not a day goes by that I do not think about her or things we have done together. 
A year ago you left us. I was not ready for that. It hurt. It still hurts. 
This past Christmas sucked! Sorry I know you hate when I use the word suck in any form but you also know I never lie. I remember thinking to myself one day on my way home from work around Christmas that I needed to make some time to go and visit with you and then it clicked Christmas sucked this past year because it was the first of many Christmases you will not be here. 
Sad Panda. 

Ya know what else sucked Gram? Not being able to celebrate all the accomplishments I had this year. Not talking to you on the phone whenever I wanted to. Not being able to make that God awful 2 hour trip to visit you. Not being able to hear your voice. Not being able to say I love you and hear you say I love you more. 

There is nothing in this world I wouldn’t give for the chance to love on you and hug you again. There is nothing in this world I wouldn’t give for a chance to have even 5 more mintes with you. 

I hope I have made you proud and I hope that I continue to make you proud. I know you are having a grand old time with Uncle Joe and everyone else up there but please don’t forget how much you are loved and missed down here. 

I Love You.
This is where your supposed to say I Love You More

Your Favorite Granddaughter -don’t worry your secret is safe with me I wont tell anyone!-
Even though Gram passed away in April we did not do a memorial service for her until July. Gram was a HUGE fan of Frank and my cousins are amazing musicians and they played and sang one of Grams favorite Frank songs. 
“My Way”
I can not listen to this song now with out crying like a baby. 
Ugly Cry.
“My Way” was definetly the way Gram lived her life and one thing I have always admired about her was that she always did things her way and one thing I hope to do is things my way in life.

I guess it’s appropriate that my blogs name is

My Life My Way

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  Hugs, Nikki

I have 6 Lovely Comments, I would love to have yours... on Love You More 4.13.12

  1. avatar
    Nichole says:
    April 13, 2013

    Such a beautiful way to remember your gram.

  2. avatar
    SEL says:
    April 13, 2013

    I lost both my grandma and grandpa in a 9.5 month time span between nov/2010 and sept/2011. I know the pain you speak of all too well.

    May your grandma’s memory be a blessing to you always.

    She was a beautiful woman.

  3. avatar
    Ang says:
    April 14, 2013

    Your post really struck a cord with me… I lost my gram 4 years ago and it still hurts, but it does get less intense.

  4. avatar
    Deidre says:
    April 14, 2013

    What a beautiful way to remember such an amazing woman.

  5. avatar
    Angie says:
    April 16, 2013

    Your Gram was beautiful! Love you!

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