Personal Growth

Do you ever sit back and just reflect on your life and the people who are in your life? More specifically relationships you have with people. Lately I have been doing that and while I’m super happy with most of the relationships in my life there are some I am not happy with. I have been struggling lately with this too. Well maybe struggling isn’t the right word but I have most definitely been thinking about it. A lot.
I am lucky enough to have some awesome relationships in my life. My relationship with Mr. Big Truck for instance is AWESOME. My relationship with my mom, while not always the best is solid now and I am so happy about that. My relationship with Ray is awesome. I am, always have been, and always will be daddys little girl, and I get along great wIth his wife to boot! I have some of the best friends a girl could ask for, yet I have some of the worst friends a girl could ask for, and those are the relationships I am questioning.
I whole heartily think that relationships, be it with a significant other, a family member, or a friend should be a two way street all the times. Yes there will be times when one person needs to lean on the other more for one reason or another and that is what a friends are for, but when a relationship gets to the point wohere one person is always asking something of you said relationship gets to be exhausting.
There are relationships in my life that I feel are not the best. Toxic? Maybe, if not yet they definitely could get there. Those are the relationships that I need to think long and hard about and decide what I need to do about them. If you ask me right now to make a decision about said relationships I would with out a doubt cut them off. Why? Because I don’t deal with drama.
I try to live a drama free life. Why? Well because honestly I just don’t like dealing with unnecessary drama. I like things to be peaceful and while most of the relationships in my life are drama free there are a few that are not. With that said there is 1 relationship that immediately comes to mind that I would love nothing more that to completely cut out of my life however, that will never happen. I’m not going to say who this relationship is with but I will say that I have gotten to the point that I now keep said relationship at as minimal interaction as possible. Why? For my own sanity. Remember I like the drama free life.
There is another relationship that comes to mind that I need to think about. Said relationship is one that I thought was a solid one. Maybe at one point along the road it was but now I think we are going our own ways. Totally normal. I feel this relationship does not build me up. I feel like this relationship is exhausting. I feel like this relationship is very one sided and that I am constantly giving myself to this person and yet this person can not, and will not be there for me when I need. I could go on about how I feel about this relationship but I honestly do not see a reason to. I think it is high time to just cut this relationship off.
But how?
Do I just stop reaching out to said person? Do I say “hey so and so our friendship is over don’t bother talking to me ever again?” I am friend with said person on Facebook, do I just un-friend said person and then if and when said person notices and asks me reply with “I’m done with our friendship?”
I’ve never been in this situation before so I am not 100% sure how to go about handling this but I know I will figure it out. It’s just a shittiy situation in general to be in. With that said though, I am trying to better myself and be the best version of me that I can be. I think personal growth is necessary to do that and while it is an ongoing process I know it’s only for the best. I know for me to grow personally I need to take all the negativity that I can out of my life. Not only do I need to but I WANT to.
With all that said friends take a second and look at your relationships and see if you are happy with them. If not get yourself to a happy place.

  Hugs, Nikki

I have 9 Lovely Comments, I would love to have yours... on Personal Growth

  1. avatar
    P!nky says:
    September 18, 2013

    Relationships are so tricky sometimes. You don’t want to be the mean person and end it but you don’t want to be in a toxic relationship either.

    I say just stop reaching out and let it phase out. If the other person reaches out, you can explain how you feel.

    Sending you good vibes!

  2. avatar
    shay says:
    September 18, 2013

    One-sided friendships are the worst. I think that if in your heart you’ve decided it’s best to move on, then just do so. I don’t even know that unfriending this person is necessary… unless you don’t want to share any part of your life with them. Then just do it, and if they do happen to notice, then maybe say, “well we haven’t really talked and i feel like we’re really not close.” Chances are that if the friendship is already one-sided they sadly won’t even notice.

  3. avatar
    Kenya says:
    September 18, 2013

    If you unfriend me I am going to punch you in the face.

    Sincerely,
    You most AWESOMEMEST friend.

    and yeah, I just made a new word. Take that Webster dictionary. IN UR FACE.

    Ok,I’m done. love you. k bye

  4. avatar
    September 18, 2013

    I’m glad you posted about this. This is something I’ve also gone through, and really struggled with. It just makes me sad when a friendship that was at one time good gets to the point where you feel the need to cut it out of your life. I am pretty nonconfrontational, so I just sort of stopped contacting and keeping up with the two friends that I’ve gone through this with. Since both of these friends were so selfish, I think it took a long time for them to notice that I quit putting any effort into the friendship.

  5. avatar
    Angie says:
    September 18, 2013

    I love you…so very very much! You are an incredible friend, and you are doing GREAT work in your life. Stay focused, keep moving forward, and KEEP SMILING…because you look really great doing it! 🙂

  6. avatar
    September 18, 2013

    I think we all have these points where you just don’t want to deal with the crap in some relationships anymore. And it’s okay! The older I get the less I want to deal with BS in my friendships. Agree 100% that they are a 2 way street. I can tell you that YOU ARE AN AMMMMMAZING FRIEND! And so caring! So don’t put up with any crap!

  7. avatar
    Mary Long says:
    September 18, 2013

    I have been thinking a lot about this topic over the past 6 months or so with a long standing relationship I have. I feel it’s very 1 sided on my part. I have concluded that I can not waste time worrying about hurting her feelings. So, to deal with it, I tend to put distance between friends I have outgrown. Facebook makes it hard. DO YOU just unfriend? I don’t think I can do that as much as I can scroll past status’ without commenting or even reading them in general.
    Good luck with your dilemma. I hope you make the best choices for you even if they are hard to act on. Sending happy thoughts your way…

  8. avatar
    docksidelove says:
    September 19, 2013

    I definitely have a relationship or two like this.
    My advice, before just unfriending the person – let them know WHY you are doing it. I had a friend that decided our friendship was over and just blocked and unfriended me – and I had NO clue why. It was very frustrating because I *wish* I knew so I could grow from whatever it was I did wrong. I think each and every person is owed that.

    And you know that it’s over anyways so you have nothing to lose by doing that.

    I have two family members I wish I could just eliminate – but unfortunately with family it’s not near as easy.

    *Hugs* to you. I like to be drama free also…

  9. avatar
    Janna Renee says:
    October 2, 2013

    I “broke up” with a friend through Facebook one time. Mine was because my BFF at the time did not support my relationship with Will, so it was easy for me to say “Hey, if you are basically wanting me to choose between you and him, I choose him.” I don’t know your circumstances, but I would maybe just tell them that you have a lot going on and need some space? I’m sorry you have to go through this!!

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