Mr. Big Truck and I have made it to the twenty week mark of this pregnancy. Que the trumpets! We are halfway! Seems like just yesterday we announced that we were expecting.
Throughout the first few weeks we have had many conversations about how we want to raise our child. General conversations until we found out what we were expecting.
Once we found out it was a girl, our conversations got serious and we started making decisions on many things. Some things we are very adamant on, like our decision to not have her sleep in our room, but to put her in her crib in her room from day one. We have talked about nursing vs formula feeding. We have talked about baby food, and how we are going to make our own baby food for her. We have talked about getting her on a schedule. We have talked about discipline for when the time comes. We have talked about how we want to raise her to be a well-rounded individual with manners. We have talked about the dreams we have for her. We have talked about a wide array of things regarding our little girl.
Through these twenty weeks people have asked us tons of questions. Questions that I know are innocent, and that I know are their way of making conversation with us. Questions such as are you going to breastfeed? Are you going use formula? Is the baby going to sleep in your room? Are you planning to use attachment parenting? Are you going to let the baby sleep in your bed? Will you go right back to work? Who is going to take care of the baby when you do go back to work?
Again for the most part I know that people are only trying to make conversation with these questions, and most of the time people have good intentions behind asking these things. I appreciate that too. What I have noticed when we answer these questions people tend to look down on us for our decisions. To be honest it infuriates me. When people ask these questions, they need to realize that this is OUR child and the decisions we make are the decisions that we, Mr. Big Truck and I, have come up with together and it is what we feel will be best for our child and our home situation. People need to realize that again it is out child and whether they like or agree with our decision or not it is our decision. I appreciate when people give us their opinions on things, and when they tell us things that works for THEIR child, but they need to realize that what worked for their child may or may not necessarily work for us and our child. I also do not appreciate when people make us feel like we are wrong or are bad parents because of the decisions we have made or are planning to make. These things we have decided to try are what we think will be best for our family. I understand that we are first time parents and I understand that people we have talked to typically have one or more children, and yes they have been there done that but that does not make them an expert and that does not mean that they know what is best for our family. I will be honest and even go as far as saying that with us being first time parents we may not know right now what is best for our family right now, but damn let us do what we think is best and if we are wrong we will do what we have to do to make it right.
Something that really peeves me is when someone asks what we are thinking or planning to do about one thing or another. When we tell them they immediately tell us “oh that’s not going to work for you it didn’t work for us.” I immediate think to myself well just because it did not work for you does not mean it will not work for us. I also think to myself if we want to try something with our child we have every right in the world to do so. Maybe it will work maybe it wont but one thing is for sure we will not know till we try for ourselves. I appreciate people’s input and suggestions but leave it at that. Do not judge us or put us down for the things that we are wanting to do and try with our child. We are all first time parents and in this situation at one time or another and somehow make it through.
No matter what others think, we will continue to make decisions that we think will be best for the welfare of our child. She is our priority and our main concern. In the mean time when we talk to people and they decide to judge us on our decisions I will continue to mentally think to myself “screw off this is our family not yours” but I will always politely smile and nod and say thanks for your suggestion. After all I need to be the role model for our daughter right?
Twenty down and twenty more to go.