I was reading The Noticer Returns by Andy Andrews the other day and part of the book talks about a parenting standard. It really got me thinking.
A question that was raised in the book was “What do today’s parents agree is the gold standard for raising children?”
That got the wheels in my brain moving. Is there any one standard that we all as parents agree on? I do not think so. We are all free to raise our children how we see fit or how we feel is the standard. Do the standards by which Mr. Big Truck and I raise #babybigtruck match the standards by with our friends Joe and Jenn raise their little girl and soon to be little boy? Nope. But does that mean we, and by that I mean us or Joe and Jenn, are doing something wrong? No not necessarily. I can guarantee you that some of the standards Mr. Big Truck and I do align with Joe and Jenn but all of them? No like I said probably not.
I continued reading the book a another thing that caught my attention was “At least one reason our society does not consistently produce awesome results in the lives of its children is because we have not agreed upon a standard by which they will be raised.” Interesting right?
How about this…
“When we set out to accomplish something without a specific, agreed-upon result, that lack of a common target yields results that are unpredictable at best. What results do you want with your children? Ten years from now…or seven years or fifteen years…when your children become adults…when at last you inspect the fruit of the tree you have pruned and fertilized and watered for years…what fruit do you want to see?
Heavy right? I know but challenging for the mind for sure! That last passage made me think. Hard. What kind of person do Mr. Big Truck and I want to see when we look at #babybigtruck 25 years from now. Some things that we want are for her have wisdom, discernment, a relationship with the Lord. Common sense, a grateful heart, we want her to be loving, joyful, financially sound, responsible. A person of integrity and a person with a good character. We want her to be loyal, have good manners, humble, a hard worker, honest, healthy. We want her to have respect not just for her elders but for everyone she meets in her life. We want her to be educated, compassionate and independent. There are more things we want but I will stop there.
In order for her to have any of the attributes listed we have to start with ourselves. We have to make sure that we are all the things we want her to be. She needs us to model these behaviors before we can even think about her doing them. We have to set the standard we expect for her. The biggest part of where you end up in life is directly determined by the choices you make along the way. “The way a person things, is the key to everything that follows, good or bad, success or failure. A person’s thinking -the way he thinks- is the foundational structure upon which a life is built. Thinking guides decisions. Thinking -how a person thinks- determines every choice.”
Something else the book touched on that really hit was about thinking, choices, actions, results and reputation. I summed up what was said into this, your thinking leads to choices which lead to actions which lead to results which leads to reputation. People have a strong reputation because of results that were reached because of actions they took because of the choices they made because of their thinking. If you want to have a good reputation you need to make the choice to NOT hang around someone who has a bad reputation. Why? Because you are the sum of the five closest friends you surround yourself with.
One thing Mr. Big Truck and I really want for #babybigtruck is wisdom. How do we instill wisdom into her? Well of course we need to seek it. We need to seek the wisdom we want her to seek and absorb. The book touched on wisdom: “Wisdom could not be diminished. It can be silenced, it can be ignored, but it cannot be diminished. Wisdom will grow, as you seek it and add it into your life, but if you really want to see wisdom flourish…if you desire to see wisdom grow and bloom…you must plant a seed of it into the life of another.” Simply put seek wisdom and speak wisdom.
I do not know about you, whether you are single, married, or have children, but we do not want to look back 25 years from now and have any regrets about what Mr. Big Truck and I have done with our lives or what we instilled in #babybigtruck. We know that it is all starts with our thinking. How are we going to avoid having any regrets? By being grateful. We will choose to be grateful. By being grateful we will have a positive outlook on life no matter what is thrown our way. Will there be rough times? I am sure of it but we will look at the situation and find the good in it. We won’t take anything for granted either. Most importantly we will thank God for what he has blessed us with.