On Being a One Child Family

Things people say to you as a mom of 1 is funny. Most of the time they are honestly innocent questions, but what a lot of people don’t understand is that sometimes what they think is an innocent question really brings a lot of pain me. It’s not their fault though, they don’t know the struggles of infertility I’m dealing with.

Back in August I had suffered a ectopic pregnancy which lead to having one of my Fallopian tubes being removed. It was traumatic. I went from being on the high of getting the news that I was pregnant and then it all came crashing down when I heard the words “There is no viable pregnancy in your uterus.”

Fast forward to November I had a cyst rupture and had to have emergency surgery again. And then we got the news that I may never get pregnant again. We were told to seriously consider IVF.

As of right now IVF is not an option for us. One it’s crazy expensive. Our doctor told us it would be between 13 and 15 thousand dollars and it isn’t covered by insurance. Two we have an amazing beautiful healthy little girl who is the light of our lives.

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I get questions and comments all the time. Do you guys want another baby? When is the next one coming? Are you trying for another?  #babybigtruck needs a little brother or sister. #babybigtruck would be such a good big sister. You guys have to have another child you make such pretty babies.

Let me tell you these questions suck. I hate when people ask me these things.

Yes we want a another child but the truth of the matter is we may never have another child and that’s a hard pill for us to swallow. It’s something I know I struggle with almost on a daily basis.

Sometimes I feel like I am failing both Mr. Big Truck and #babybigtruck because I may not be able to get pregnant. Then I stop and think that’s just Satan messing with my head. I know God has a plan for us and I know he would never want me to think those things.

Like I said we want another child but we have all our faith in God and his plan for us. If He wants us to have another child He will bless us with that child. We know He has a plan for us and we have full confidence and faith in His plan for our family. We are both also 100% at peace with the fact that if God has planned for our family to be a family of three then so be it. We have been blessed with #babybigtruck and do not take that fact for granted.

So do yourself a favor and think before you as a mom of 1 if and when they are going to have another child. You may not know what is going on behind closed doors.

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  Hugs, Nikki

I have 12 Lovely Comments, I would love to have yours... on On Being a One Child Family

  1. avatar
    Jen says:
    March 16, 2016

    You are amazing and I can relate to this in so many ways. We were told by several doctors that IVF was our only hope for a child and poof here we are. Everything happens for a reason and I know that you guys are exactly where you are meant to be despite the heartache and pain you have gone through. Sending so much love your way.

    • avatar
      Nikki says:
      March 16, 2016

      Thank you sweet friend! I am so inspired by your story and journey! We have not lost hope and nor will we but we have come to terms that it is totally up to God and his will for our family and no matter what we are happy with our little family!

  2. avatar
    Jenn says:
    March 16, 2016

    I cannot wait to hug you!! Such a real, honest post Nikki. I am always here for you to talk with and I look forward to our calls. I cannot imagine what you feel, but you are so strong and sharing this on your blog I am sure is helping other women who are coping with similar issues. xo

    • avatar
      Nikki says:
      March 16, 2016

      Love you too! It is something that has been on my heart for a while now and I had to share. It is not an easy road that we are on but we have all our faith in God and know that He has a plan for us. I hope and pray that sharing my story does help even one other person out there who is struggling.

  3. avatar
    Lauri says:
    March 16, 2016

    Ugh. People suck. I got that ALL THE TIME. When I wasn’t ready for baby number #2. After I had a miscarriage. When we were trying and nothing was happening. Telling someone that “you are depriving your child by not giving them a sibling” is a horrible thing to say no matter what the circumstances.

    It took me almost 4 years to be okay with having only one child – and now surprise, I’m pregnant again.

    I know it’s really hard – but love the life you have. Either you will grow to be okay with it, or you’ll find a way to expand your family.

    • avatar
      Nikki says:
      March 18, 2016

      I love the life I have don’t get me wrong. I am beyond blessed with my family and I am 100% content with my family. Would I like another child sure would but if I never have one I am fine with that as well! I do not find it hard to be in this state of mind at all. I know God has a plan and that is all I need to rely on!

  4. avatar
    Nise says:
    March 18, 2016

    Never give up hope. You are not alone. I’ve got to the point of being brutally honest with people when they ask when there will be a 2nd one. I tell them everything that happened in the 11 years of trying for our little Princess. My many stomach surgeries, 4 ivfs, miscarriage and depression and animal hoarding. Ok. Im not hoarding. Just have 2 dogs and 3 cats. Lol. They tend to stop asking then 😉
    Hang in there!

    • avatar
      Nikki says:
      March 18, 2016

      Thank you! I’m not giving up hope I’m just saying I know God has a plan and I am 100% okay with that!

  5. avatar
    March 18, 2016

    I’m so sorry for the insensitive things people have said to you about this. That is just heart wrenching! I’m glad you are trusting in God through all of this. I don’t know how people make it through life without relying on God. *hugs*

    • avatar
      Nikki says:
      March 21, 2016

      Thank you! I do not know how people make it though life without Him either. Makes me think how I made it so many years before I came to know Christ!

  6. avatar
    Pinky says:
    March 24, 2016

    It’s funny, when I was younger I never thought anything about asking about kids. I did have some tact though because it was always asked in a ‘are you thinking about kids/more kids’? But now, I keep my mouth such unless the mom/woman opens the door for the conversation. I’ve found that sometimes because I don’t ask I get to hear the whole story because people just want to talk and have someone listen.

    God has a plan for your beautiful family and it is a good one. I know it is hard to keep the devil out of our heads, trust me, I struggle all the time with doubts. But, having faith is what we need to do and we must give it all up to God. I know His plan for your family is in the making :)!

    • avatar
      Nikki says:
      April 1, 2016

      Ok first of all for some reason my anti-spam filter has blocked all your comments recently so prepare for all my responses. LOL! SORRY!

      YES! I love this! People do not understand how to have tact! Kudos to you for having it! You are absolutely right too sometimes if you don’t ask you will get the entire story one way or another.

      God absolutely has a plan and I am so glad I do not have to worry about that! Struggling with doubt I think is something all believers do and having faith is the key!

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